---

There are certain things...places that stay with a person their whole lives. No matter where they go, who they meet, some memories can never be completely shed.

His vary. It's sleep that betrays him. He's in middle school, making his way towards the double doors. Each step is heavy, leaden, as he makes his procession towards the end of another day. His father finally stopped taking him to little league, but his heart still pounds with each second that passes. The blood rushes and rolls and he keeps waiting for the day it will all fall through.

The glare of sunlight makes him squint, but his eyes stay wide open as they quickly regain focus.

Run. His mind screams the command and it isn't long before his legs receive the message. The slap of his sneakers against the black glittery pavement coincides in perfect tandem with his rapidly increasing heartbeat. Each sound tells him to go faster. That he's not safe, he'll never be safe.

He isn't safe. He's never been the fastest runner. Dick always beat him at that sort of thing, and today wasn't going to be any different. His body lurches back like a spring and his breath stops halfway in. The round, rough knuckles slide past the skin at his collar as his fingers tighten around the cloth. His insides twist with revulsion and clamp together in panic.

"You're not running from me, Cassidy? Are you?" The warm slippery voice makes him want to gag. He almost does. The smile he wears is one of a caring adult, but the depthless dark eyes tell another story. Stories that wake him up at night, feeling lost and scared. Stories that make closets and the small crevice between his bed and the door his favourite places, his only places.

He shakes him off, and the startled, almost pained, expression on his face leaves him to wonder just why this man has gotten away with so much without anyone noticing. But then he remembers that the only truths people want to face are the ones that don't hurt to believe and he's just another boy who's fallen through the cracks.

Peter, Marcos, him? They're no one in this town, and being no one is the fastest way to losing everything it seems. 

---

He's sixteen when his brother brings home a girl he doesn't totally hate. In all actuality, she may be the one girl in Neptune that wasn't completely occupied with money and appearance and he thinks he's found someone he can relate to.

Too bad his brother found her first. They laugh and tease each other, and if he looks closely enough, he can see tangible happiness in Dick's eyes. It must be a nice feeling.

--- 

"Cassidy?"

He looks up from his spot on the floor, his thumb setting the game to pause. She's over here a lot. Not that he minds or anything. It's just that he doesn't really want to see her and Dick making eyes at each other. Thank god for Play Station.

"Yeah, Madison?"

"Nothing." She turns her eyes down and his curiousity gets the best of him.

"What is it?"

The eyes light up a little as a small thoughtful smile crosses her lips.

"What would you think of streaks?"

"Streaks?"

"Like in my hair. Would it be too weird?"

He shrugs his shoulders.

"Depends on the colour I guess."

"Okay, you choose."

"You want me to choose the colour you're going to dye your hair?"

"Cassidy. Choose."

"Fine. Blue."

He turns back to Zelda. His ascent to the sixth level is stunted when she grabs his arm, pulling him up.

The blue dye in her bag is nestled between red and purple and he can't help, but grin. It doesn't take too long to put in the dye. He helps her wash her hair, the soap suds covering his hands. He can't really see any change, but she tells him to wait, wrapping a towel around her hair. The cold water is in direct contrast to the warmth of her skin and he forces himself not to look directly at her. It was only because Dick wasn't here. He was here, so she figured he'd help her. Questions of blue hair and dye would probably send his brother into infinite giggles.

Despite all his reasoning, an hour later, the blue gleams through her hair, and he looks at her in awe. He didn't think she could get any prettier. It matches her eyes, and he's suddenly pleased with his choice.

What he's not ready for is the same clear eyes he'd been admiring a second ago on his face. He feels his cheeks grow hot and when her lips peck his in what could be considered the tamest kiss of all time, he jumps back, knocking his elbow into the side of the coffee table.

It rattles before toppling over.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to. Oh god, sorry."

She keeps apologizing and he just wants to her to stop. So maybe that's why his hands are in her still damp hair, and maybe that's why he kisses her. It's nothing he can pinpoint. It's nothing he can backtrack to a certain juncture in time, but sometime back there he let himself get attached to her. When her mouth opens to his, his tongue slides in and she sort of sinks into him then.

"You're my brother's girlfriend."

"Hmm." She bites at her lip, tugging it down, and leans forward again.

"Did you hear what I just said?"

"Yeah. I'm not deaf, Cassidy."

"Then what the hell are we doing?"

She's about to answer when he's pulling her to him, instinctively, tangling his hands around her, as hers curl into his shirt.

They don't move from their spot on the couch for another hour.

---

Dick doesn't take it too badly. He survives the first left hook, and the blood falls from his lip onto his sneaker.

They were going to tell him together, but he didn't want her to be a part of it.

"This isn't cool, man."

"I know." He brings his left wrist to wipe away the red off his chin. An eternity seems to pass and he really wishes he didn't feel like he was betraying two people in the same instant.

"It was nothing. She loves you, man. It was nothing."

"Really?" The hopeful stare almost does him in, but he stays his ground.

"Yeah, really."

---

They break up a year into college. He keeps his word and doesn't see her.

It's a Monday, when he opens his newly furnished dorm room, to find her sitting against the frame.

"Hey."

"Hey."

There are smiles in their voices, and when Dick comes up from behind her, standing up to greet him, he holds his breath.

"I'll leave you guys to it then." They both roll their eyes at his not so inconspicuous wink, but as she walks in, he turns back, catching up with his brother.

"You guys are better for each other. But hurt her and I'll--"

He grins at the non-threat and raises an eyebrow.

"Just take care of her."

"I will."

---

He's never going to escape his past, but they make new memories, and this will always stay with him.